Of all the inappropriate toys...

that my children managed to  smuggle into church, there never was a (toy) sword.  A sword? How did the child behind me at Mass this morning manage to bring a sword - albeit of the foamy variety - to church?  Hate to do a "if that was my child" but...if that was my child, the sword would have been confiscated and placed in a secure location. (i.e, behind mother's derriere until church was over; then it would be sentenced to a high shelf in the parents' closet for a certain punitive duration.)  I'm not a crank.  I like those foamy toy swords.  We've had a lot of fun with them over the years, just as we've also enjoyed the sport of fencing/walloping with swim noodles.  Now that plants a very bad image in my mind - children bringing 'noodles' to church....  Oy. That would demand more than a stink-eye to the parents.  One might need to call an usher.  Or the pastor.