Friday, March 30, 2007

Oh, that Bones...
Closed Cafeteria has a discussion of the current crop of Catholic stereotypes on TV. I try to avoid Law & Order as much as possible...not easy since it is as ubiquitous as “That ‘70’s Show” reruns and those infomericials promoting colon cleansing. But I find “Bones” to be a mild diversion from reality. This week’s episode danced about a variety stereotypes about Catholicism, especially the priesthood. It was an interesting twist - they trotted out these overworked devices and then implanted them into the psyche of a disturbed lady who worked in the rectory. Our perp (wrongly) suspected the worst of the priests and made it her mission to save them from themselves by way of botanicals growing in the church yard.

Well, that’s a new twist. Crazy rectory-working lady. That's not much of a diversion from reality.

That’s TV, remember. We’re not all crazy. Not even lazy. I got a lot of work done today. This week-end I’m resting my voice. Because Monday the phone will start ringin’ like crazy.
Things that make you go “Huh?”
Rumors circulated that the home contained hidden walls that contained everything from paintings from the Louvre, to artifacts from the Vatican.
Berwyn always sounds like such a boring town, making this story all the more interesting.
1 More Day...
...so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
No, I’m not really that bad. (I couldn’t stay awake through the whole Office marathon last night, so something must be tiring me, right?) But I don’t always feel that what I do is making much of a ‘contribution.’ Well, next week is Holy Week and there is stuff that must get done today, so I’m off to work with more of a sense of mission. We’ll see what happens. I’ll probably space out while simultaneously getting the job done. That’s the best of both worlds, right? Or maybe the worst.
Fine Art Friday



"Jesus Washing Peter's Feet"

Ford Maddox Brown
1852-6

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Two More Days...
Wedding Meme - Pt. 3

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Top

22. What size is your bed? Twin

23. Greatest strength as a couple? Stubborness and determination.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Misdirected stubborness and determination.

25. Who literally pays the bills? We each pay some. Rick handles the phone bill because it makes me crazy.

26. What is your song? “Love Will Keep Us Together” It’s true...just remember it’s “Love” not “luv”

27. What did you dance your first dance to? I don’t remember. I was not aware that I was supposed to tell the band what song I wanted and I think they went ahead and did some sappy sort of seventies thing, like something by John Denver. But we didn’t care...we were married.

28. Describe your wedding dress: Off the shoulder lace with spaghetti straps, a wide satin sash at the waist accented by tiny pink roses, chapel length train and a large hat trimmed with lace that matched the dress and a tulle veil. I thought one of my girls might wear it, but it has been pronounced “so ‘70’s.” I clipped a piece of the veil and made a rosette tied up with a thin blue satin bow to be pinned in the hem of Embot’s wedding dress. Maybe that will become a tradition.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? I had pink roses and a bunch of other white flowers - maybe stephanottis(sp?). The bridesmaids had daisies and and something pink - carnations, roses. I forget.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? Rick’s is (EMS to RAvH 6-30-78). Mine was an antique platinum band with inset diamonds, so there was no place for engraving.

31. How old were you when you got married? 23
Think I'll make it thru today...
no Jeopardy news in my email. But NBC informs me that there is a 5 episode Office marathon tonite. That will have to do.

I enjoyed watching Doug Hicton's $84,900 winning streak this week. Doug and I sat together at the Chicago auditions...so that may be my only brush with Jeopardy greatness. (He was nice and fun to talk to, so how could I begrudge him is success?)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Playing the glad game...
I saw the cutest butter dish at Target, but didn't need it. This morning I was informed by the kitchen staff (ie. pater) that the butter dish is broken. Now I just hope they still have the cow when I get there...
Three Days to Go...
Let's Try This Again After Easter:
You Are 78% Burned Out

You are very burned out.
You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible.
Maybe a week in New Orleans or Paris. Or bed with a stack of books and Ben & Jerry's.
And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life.
Because you're working hard and going no where... and that would burn anyone out!
Wedding Meme - Part 2

11. What did you serve for your meal?I don’t remember. It was a summery buffet, with fruit and stuff, but I was too excited to eat

12. How many people were in your wedding party?10

13. Are you still friends with them all? Yes. And the best man met and married (it only took seven years) one of my bridesmaids.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? He says he did, but I didn’t notice. My cynical side thinks he was crying about his hair. (see below)

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? the vows!

16. Any funny moments? The minister called me Cheryl. More than once. And Rick was mortified because he spent the morning swimming and then was “running late” (see also: story of our life) and didn’t wash the pool water out of his hair. So his hair looked a little stringy. I didn’t care. At the reception, my best friend's father told me he saw Rick attempting to wash his hair in the men’s washroom.

17. Any big disasters? No. Although from the groom’s perspective I would say, see question 16.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Minneapolis

19. How long were you gone? a week

20. If you were to do your wedding over, I would enjoy it more and worry less about details. (And I wasn’t obsessed the way girls are these days!)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Damn the Chickens! Free Speech Ahead!
I’m still sulking over the chickens. On the way to work yesterday, Rick and I had a piquant conversation about how much respect is to be paid to regulations of the homeowners’ association in contrast to the respect owed to governmental authority. Rick was tisking like an old biddy over the plethora (see SAT people, I can work it into any story...) of signs in support of the local school referendum. Political yard signage is strictly forbidden by the homeowners’ association. (Hence my affixing of an Alan Keyes campaign sign in the front window during the last presidential election. I liked Alan Keyes. I also liked annoying the public and my family. One of these days I must touch up the spot where it took the paint off of the wall.)

In the past, those who put signs in their yards were promptly chastised and the signs quickly disappeared. But this time the signs are staying up. My best guess is that this is a show of tacit support of the referendum by the people who would usually be the first to demand that signs be removed.

As for me, I don’t know. It’s hard to argue with VOTE YES - Kids Come First!!! In other parts of town I have seen signs with the word NO in big yellow letters. Yellow, symbolic of a lack of concern for 50 year-old plumbing and malfunctioning urinals. Yellow, the color of cowardice...the lack of courage to see that the children in our community have 21st century toilet facilities. And a top grade performing arts facility for middle schoolers.

I don’t think a NO sign would be welcome on our block. I’m not even saying that I would vote no. What I would like to do would be to make up my own sign saying “ABOLISH INSTITUTIONAL EDUCATION.” And let the fun begin.
Wedding Meme - Pt. 1
Picked up at Quiet Life, where some wedding plans are afoot. I’m breaking this down into manageable chunks.

1. Where/How did you meet? After a dance at my college. I saw him at the dance. He was wearing a black T-shirt and looked very dubious. We met at a bar later that evening as he was pursuing one of my friends. The rest is history.

2. How long have you known each other? 31 years. It doesn’t seem that long, but I know that

3. How long after you met did you start dating? a week

4. How long did you date before you were engaged? a year

5. How long was your engagement? a little over six months

6. How long have you been married?28 and 3/4 years

7. What is your anniversary? June 30th

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? maybe about 150 or so

9. What kind of cake did you serve? Traditional white cake with white frosting and pink roses. From the Shorewood Village Bakery. I still have 3 of the cherubs that supported the top tier. Wilton still makes them. (See photo to left.) So if any of my daughters wants to use them, we can replace the broken 4th cherub. I usually put one on display in the living room as part of St. Valentine’s decorations.

10. Where was your wedding? Christ Lutheran Church, Mequon, WI.
I’ve got a plethora of coconuts (they’re myriad!)
There they are all standing in a row…

The SAT essay receives an award for meretricious service.
Please allow me to introduce...my son-in-law.


He may not wish to display this in his office when goes into dental practice. You know how some people feel about the devil dentist!
Let's talk literacy!
Using pictures to guide readers to shelf looks to be a little at cross-purposes. Or maybe I'm just an old fashioned girl. Anyone with a MLIS feel free to chime in.
4 Days 'til Shakespeare Month!
Last year was kind of a bomb...I'll blame it on my being preoccupied with work before Easter and surgery right after Easter. Not on 'the Scottish Play' which I may have mentioned by name too many times. Well, we're going to work on it again this year. But I shan't mutter the name. No, no, no.
I am with them in spirit…
After decades of animosity, one of the driving forces getting Gerry Adams and Rev Ian Paisley to sit together was something as mundane as water rates.
“No water bills” (and most likely no dog-sized toads) pushes Northern Ireland up on my list of places that I’d consider living. Don’t ask me about the water bill. I don’t want to think about the water bill. The most I can ask is that the check I sent to the DPW ‘floats’ for another day or so.
How to Survive an Encounter with Crocodile or Alligator



Today’s ‘how-to of the day’ on our GOOGLE page. About a week late to help Embot, but she did OK. The first how-to hint should be: “Find a gator with his jaw bound shut.”
Group Finds Toad the Size of a Small Dog
I'll never complain about waking up with a small dog in my bed. Not after seeing the picture of this! There is a substantial branch of the von Huben family in Australia. I'm glad I'm not one of them.

I 'm rather fond of frogs, toads and the like. But if something this size were found in our laundry room, I think all of us girls would just up and move out. You know, like the family in the Amityville horror.

Monday, March 26, 2007

What do you mean I can't take off my sweater? I'm hot!
This isn’t kvetching…it’s a cry for help.
I had forgotten how hot it can get at work on these beautiful days…when the radiators have not yet been turned off for the season. I’m wearing a short-sleeved shirt, skirt and sandals (perhaps my only chance for the public to see the only pedicure I may ever have) and I still feel like I’m melting. Luckily the window wasn’t swollen shut today, so I don’t have the same suffocating feeling that I had on Friday. I hate to call a maintenance man to open my window. That just seems so, well, wimpy. But I don’t like to pound on the frame too hard, either. I did that once when some children from our parish school were going along the sidewalk, and I think I scared them. (“Look, that crazy woman is trying to escape!”) I also know what it feels like to put my fist through a pane of glass. An interesting experience; and relatively painless, but I don’t want to press my luck.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

My Favorite Annunciation...


Henry Ossawa Tanner 1898

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Cry Fowl!!!
No Peafowl for me. You have to buy them 8 at a time. To the tune $235. Which would be less than subtle where the neighbors are concerned.

Gorgeous Black Giant chickens are only about $2 a piece (shipped live!). Even though there appear to be no restrictions on poultry in our unincorporated slice of paradise, Rick is sure the homeowners association has some kind of rule. (That’s why I wanted the peacock - I thought the neighbors would appreciate a thing of such beauty. We already are a noisy bunch, so how much worse would a squawking peacock be, really?) Oh, and Rick says he doesn’t like chickens. And where would I put them in the winter. (Corner of his garage office?) So I sent for the catalog anyway. The pictures will probably make a nice collage. And maybe I’ll get a gift certificate for my sister, who planted the whole idea in my head. (She’s moving to a place where chickens are welcome. Rick suggested she keep “my” chicken and I could go visit it. Swell.)

Friday, March 23, 2007

No Kvetching!!!
Bracelelets arrived. Surprisingly comfortable - I was prepared to offer up a little sweating and itching without kvetching, but I won't have to. The boys like theirs, though Dad's didn't fit. So I'll give it to someone else. (or maybe I should keep one in the car in case the bungee that holds my door shut gives out. Can't talk about the door anymore without apoplectic kvetching. Hope to have it fixed by the end of the week-end. It's one of those things - like the van door in "Little Miss Sunshine" - that is funny as a concept but a bitch in real life.)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Fine Art Friday

early, because the days get away from me so quickly.

William Bouguereau
COMPASSION
(1897)


Fun via Happy Catholic!

Why I Obsess
I finally have the first new washer and dryer of my married life. (vs. 'good' used) I hope that these will last me the rest of my laundering life. They are this woman's equivalent of the mid-life crisis Porsche. (except that a washer and dryer are a necessity...so why not do it right?)

They look just like the photo. The photo is not my laundry room. My laundry room has a cement floor and cement block walls which I have tried to dress up with an old poster from a John Singer Sargent exhibit. I think the woman in the poster has had a mustache added to her face. But who cares? The washer and dryer look marvelous!
A Mell of a Hess
Yes. Yes it is. Just yards from our house. The sound of the pumps and helicopters woke us up at 6:15. I didn’t realize how ‘floody’ thiings were last night - I was too busy obsessing about water leaking into the laundry room and destroying the washer and dryer. (There is a benefit to having older children who still live in the basement. They are the first alert system if things should become too damp.)

Oooh, I just saw two choppers out the family room window. This is probably not a day to take out the garbage in my nightgown.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The mind reels; most men didn't try that hard to woo their wives...
TSO reviews the Dateline “To Catch a Scammer” show!

(Watching the scammers sweat and squirm was fun. They should develop it into a full series. And be a little more cruel to the scam/spammers.)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Pi Progress...
I'm up to ten places. Which is probably the best I can do. I'm doing this mainly as a parlor trick and another way to keep my brain soft and supple. The mental equivalent of that trick in which you invert your arms, making circles of your thumbs and forefingers and holding them over your eyes to simulate "Debbie Reynolds' eyeglasses." Not especially useful, but there is comfort in knowing that you are still limber enought to do it.

I've read up on the people who visualize the numbers in pairs to symbolize people and then string the characters out in a story. That sounds a little hard for me. The best I can do is memorize numbers in chunks. And like the person who begins a table blessing and veers off into the pledge of allegiance, the Our Father and the preamble to the Constitution...I find myself starting into Social Security numbers, childhood phone numbers and bank account numbers. Which, I suppose I could recite at a family dinner....and maybe convince 75% of the crowd that I knew what I was doing. But I would know better. And a few other attendees. And God.
Yes, I know...
stalking is not funny.
But I can't help laughing at the thought of a woman stalking Bob Uecker. Bob Uecker? I think he's kind of cute for an older man. And he was charming on that Mr. Belvidere show (or whatever it was) some years back. But stalker bait...it just seems funny. (Yes, I know that Mr. Uecker is not laughing)

A better idea...
than the "No Complaining" bracelets. I think I would willingly suffer the sweating and itching for a chance at evangelization.

The April issue of First Things...
has a good article on homeschooling. I tend to judge myself harshly in the light of the homeschooling experience of others and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in my family had hidden the the new issue when it arrived. But I dredged it up while looking for breakfast reading on Sunday. “A day in the life of a homeschooling mother,” had me tearing into the hermetically sealed package.

Sally Thomas has written a concise explanation of homeschooling that gives the uninitiated a lovely glimpse into the ‘lifestyle’ of homeschooling as well, as explaining the motivation behind it. And unlike many homeschooling articles, this one didn’t make me want to stick my head in the oven. (In Simpson-speak, I would have to describe my homeschooling persona in two words: Moe Szyslak.)

Sunday, March 18, 2007

... is it possible to ask for a bookcase in one dimension and end up with a Buick LeSabre in another?
Don’t I wish?
B.B. Bumble and the Stingers
Mott the Hoople, Ray Charles Singers...


3.1415926535 89 is as far as I get.
Is it time to purge other info to make room?
Or does this number just need a catchy tune?

Slide guitarists and Fender basses
Mushroom omelet, Bonnie Bramlett
Wilson Pickett, stomp and kick it
so teach us, gracious Lord, to die to self...
One last spiritual lesson in the making of the rose altar cloth. So it was crooked. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe it had shifted during the four Masses before I saw it. Maybe if the pink hydrangeas had just been bigger they would have obscured the angling at the corners. Maybe nobody noticed. Maybe...

Sometimes the hymnody is speaking right to me.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Ides report...
Made it in to work for a while. Realize I missed Pi Day. Better luck next year.
Was not stabbed.
Altar cloth is OK. Tomorrow the safety string on the fringe will be clipped.
If only...
I were benefits-eligible at work. I wonder if "ides of March" could be a floating holiday? I wonder if I could just take an unpaid sick day? I don't feel so well. Oh, presentee-ism strikes again. That and I must put the finishing touches on the fringe on the rose altar cloth. If I'm lucky I can take the evening off from dishes etc. and revel in "The Office" and other delights of Thursday nite.

Monday, March 12, 2007


I am so proud...
I guess. If I were a better 'foodie' I'd know who this Ming fellow is.
Embot met him at the Housewares show in Chicago and got an autographed copy of his book. That's our brush with greatness for the week-end.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

My husband posits this theory...that my mood might be cheerier if I didn't spend Saturday mornings in bed, watching "Six Feet Under" on Bravo. Which I wouldn't have to do if I didn't fall asleep trying to catch it on Monday evening. Maybe it's not such a great way to bracket my week. But I can't stop. Mama needs her stories.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Oh, NOprah...

There was a rare evening some days back when I caught the daily Oprah 11:00pm rerun. It was such a schlock fest, with Oprah wiping back tears as she attested to the life changing promises of “The Secret.” I’m not making this up - Ironic Catholic caught some of the histrionics - so there are witnesses. Oprah gets caught up in these life changing things on a regular basis. But this “The Secret” biz is especially flaky. Flaky, offensive and as the Salon.com article says, meretricious. I love it when we can find good use for such a rich word.

...with survivors of Auschwitz still alive, Oprah writes this about "The Secret" on her Web site, "the energy you put into the world -- both good and bad -- is exactly what comes back to you. This means you create the circumstances of your life with the choices you make every day. You cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can, and thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thought...” Oprah, from a studio within walking distance of Chicago's notorious Cabrini Green Projects, pitches a book that says, "The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts."

Here are some pieces of The Secret according to Ellyn:

If you can buy it on Amazon.com, it’s not much of a secret.

The law of attraction does explain the dog hair on my clothes.

I have been visualizing a Jaguar. And you know what, it is there in the parking lot at work. It’s not mine, so I guess I bobbled on the visualization.

The best part of Oprah’s “The Secret” was when a small, still voice said, “This is b*llsh*t. Turn of the telly and pray your rosary.”
Another, different, cross to bear.
Dom and Melanie Bettinelli are especially in need of prayer. Dom has asked for the intercession of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta. This might be a good time to ask for the help of Rose Hawthorne, too.
Yes...
Emily. Re the picture below, #4 is really #1.
Please accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.
And move your 'no complaining' bracelet to the other arm.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Cure for the winter time blues...
Three of our girls last June. (#4 is the photographer!)
Help Get Me to the Convent
No, not me. Someone more worthy who needs just a little help paying off her student loans before entering the convent. And she's almost halfway there!!!
Well, China Proof half the time...

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

OK, so I’m kvetching…
Some minister stole my most difficult Lenten practice. And is turning it into a media saturated, world-wide event. With bracelets.

And so he asked his flock to take a pledge: to swear off complaining, criticizing, gossiping or using sarcasm for 21 days.



My first complaint would be about the bracelet. Those things itch. Embot gave me a literacy awareness bracelet from an ALA convention. That lasted less than 36 hours and then I developed a rash. So I went back to spending as much time as possible reading as my way of promoting literacy.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Not
as my sister says, “That Roman Polanski day you people in Illinois celebrate.”
Supposedly, Flukys has freebies today for anyone whose surname ends in “ski.” Somewhere in my family tree is an Englishman who fought under Pulaski against the English. What might that get me? Bupkis.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

The Bedlam Cube
Like Tetris. Only 3-D. (Eddie will generously hum the annoying little Tetris tunes for those having trouble making the segue from computer screen.)
Appalling?
I've leafed through a lot of church supply catalogues. I've never seen a pall with ribbons and feathers that had been richly "be-dazzled." And I hope to never see one again.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Hey Emily...

I’m not sure I understand. Isn’t this the same as the bridesmaids dresses in your wedding? Or is my eye just not finely attuned to the nuances? Anyway, I want to see it in celadon or peridot or whatever it is that you girls will be wearing.
Pretty darn good, ya want some?
At the movies with Fr. Robert Barron.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Creepy, weird, sick and gross.
In 2007, in America, where no lives are in danger, all I can think about "cross-nursing" is...gross. I mean, LifeSource won't take my blood, so would you want me to nurse your child?

That's all I can say now...I am supposed to be working... but this was too strange - too "hippieish" to pass by.

St. Isidore Foundation



I cannot live under pressures from patrons, let alone paint.
-- Michelangelo, quoted in Vasari's Lives of the Artists


Meet the Family...
Collect the Action Figures





Yes, three jade ribbons. 15 Years!
(not all the same child)
If you need to ask, you may not wish to know.


 
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